Voices of Recovery
A Client Says Goodbye to Heroin
Never again shall you steal my mind, body or soul pretending to be my friend while digging my grave. You even convinced me to help you dig the hole. Standing at crossroads, only I can choose which path to pave.
I want you to know I’m leaving you behind me. My only thoughts of you are images of your betrayal, destruction and despair. Without you I have dreams and the hope to obtain them. I can live each day becoming truer to myself. I can start to become a good son, brother, friend, citizen. I can take my todays and practice for my tomorrows where I may become a husband and father. Without you I can grow emotionally and spiritually. Today I have freedom, freedom from thinking I can’t live without your instant escape from pain. I’m sick of you being my only purpose. So I say to you, KEEP AWAY FROM ME. You are not welcome anymore. You’ve been pegged, singled out as my worst enemy. And finally, I tell you that saying these few words is allowing you far more respect than you deserve.
A Client Says Goodbye to Pot
Pot has made my life unmanageable, because its addictive nature causes me want to use it all the time, excluding everything else in my life. I am not just a mind; I am also a body that needs lots of taking care of, and I haven't been doing that for a very long time now. I still am in love with it, so I wonder how my goodbye letter will unfold. I need to be in a love affair with myself, and get all co-dependent with the little girl inside me. Folks say its okay to be selfish in this respect, but that’s a message foreign to my older, more ingrained tapes, and very hard to take in (like hear good things about me too.)
I need to break-up with this long-time abusive lover. I believed all the misery I was feeling was what I deserved, and that I had no power with which to change that perception. But I AM stronger than that; and I DO deserve better. With all the help for the asking, I CAN think better of myself, deep down too. This one-day-at-a-time is the ONLY way I’ll be able to maintain progress. To project the future is to still stay in the problem; and that’s NOT the way recovery works. To be in the moment, allowing new good habits to form over time, will build me a new strength and self-love with which I can better break-up with the hurtful lover I trusted.
Marahoochewanna . . . Cannabis Sativa L . . . Pot . . . Weed . . . Herb . . . Boo . . . MaryJane . . . You know, I really loved you. I thought you would take care of me; but you didn't. You betrayed me. I now realize that you have been subtly hurting me all these years. I trusted you and you lied to me. I put my faith in you, and you sold me out. I'm tired of being shit on, and need to break up with you now, and not just for awhile. They tell me I deserve better, and think I will know that truth for myself over time. I now know that it’s okay to think better of myself, and to do good things for myself. You kept me stuck. I lived in a fantasy world, imagining how it would feel to actually have good things in my life, because it seemed I would never, ever have them in reality. But I couldn’t be in my head all the time. I’d come down, and sad again that it was all just a dream. I’m tired of abusive lovers. I DO deserve better. I am breaking up with you NOW. And don’t try and sweet-talk me either; it won’t work anymore. I’m NOT kidding. I’ve given you way too many chances: it’s MY turn now. And don’t try to come back; you’re not wanted here anymore. This IS NOT a game; it’s the rest of my life. So, GET OUT. LEAVE. NOW.
|